Dead But Alive

It's always a weird moment when you think back to all the good times you had shared with someone and you realize that you'll never share those moments ever again. It's a rough feeling when you have to come to terms with the idea that someone you used to be so close with no longer considers you alive, despite the fact that your breathing right in front of them. The day someone you idolized tells you that you are dead to them is a day you never thought you had to go through. But now that it's happened it's almost like your drowning, trying to break surface. Yet there's a weight holding you to the bottom. You want to hold onto every last ounce of breath you have left. In this case breath being the memories. Sometimes family can be the most loving yet also the most toxic people in your life. In this case you're more on the toxic side to me. Because as I continuously break surface, you somehow add another weight in attempt to hold me down.